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coba

Singapore

People always thinks Singapore is nice place… not for me Singapore is hell place especially now… I really hate going there… and see this building…

Shi, 2006
Pinkpig, Why.. and why

Learning 2

Hm.. I was cried today because read email from my bf mom, she is so wonderful and kindness, so this make me want to keep them until I die... I can give my body for they happiness now and forever....

Shi, 2006
Pinkpig I love you all

Learning

Time makes me learning something, don’t be a good person in the middle of bad person, but no need to be bad person too. The key it’s be your self but no need to force someone like you want or opposite.

Today, I have plenty work for my research, the deadline is Friday, and tomorrow I have small lecturer (it’s more like discussion between the student) not so important BUT always make me tired because they can’t understand English well, so each time need energy and power to translate with they own language and after to make they understand the physics, and how they are thinking is take a long way to understand small things; so I was asked to postpone until next week as the reason Friday is important for me, I ask the girl who always arrange this seminar etc, it was big surprised for me when she answer that she can’t decide it and need some discussion….upsss!!! I was made big mistake… she is look happy when know it I’m not yet ready for tomorrow… (In real I’m ready... I just not ready to face them, tired because they are difficult to understand); and her face its look like find some valuable, I never realize that she will did like that to me. And after for some moment, I decide it to cancel and I will give tomorrow seminar, I told her, ok there is no problem and no need to change anything, she really look sad; and after few minutes she send email to all people here remain tomorrow and Friday seminar.

I was asked her, please honest to me, are you remember that tomorrow there is seminar, and she said no she doesn’t remember anything so my request it’s help her to remain her duty arrange the seminar. And I just understand a few minutes ago, after I prayed, she is happy because until now people in my laboratory always think she is the smart one and she is more powerful than the others student because she is close with all the professor, last seminar she got any problem to finish and she is delay until become midnight seminar.

Hm… its not first time she did something not good, now I can understand well, she is really selfish and not good personal touch. I didn’t expect anything from her when I gave her my kindness, but time make me learn something, I must little bit close my eyes and ear from her, no need give her food when she is hungry, no need to help her finish her presentation, no need help her especially related with abroad and no need do anything with her, just make common relationship without any personal relationship. It’s better than I must surprise several times with her behavior.

Difficult to looking friend, so the best way is keep your good friend and take care of them in best one.

Shi, 2006

Pinkpig, don’t worry God will help me to finish all in perfect and best one… I will work hard to proving her that I can do all exactly on schedule.

I'll be missing you

I’ll be missing you “Baby Face”

Wish I told her how I feel, Maybe she'd be here right now but instead... singing... I pretend that I'm glad you went away These four walls closing more every day And I'm dying inside And nobody knows it but me Like a clown I put on a show The pain is real even if nobody knows And I'm crying inside And nobody knows it but me Why didn't I say the things I needed to say How could I let my angel get away Now my world is just a-tumblin' down I can say it so clearly but you're nowhere around The nights are so lonely the days are so sad and I just keep thinking about the love that we had And I'm missing you And nobody knows it but me I carry smile when I'm broken in two And I'm nobody without someone like you I'm trembling inside And nobody knows it but me (yeah) Lie awake, it's a quarter past three I'm screaming at night if I thought you'd hear me Yeah, my heart is calling you And nobody knows it but me (well, well) How blue can I get? You could ask my heart But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart Billion words couldn't say just how I feel A million years from now you know I'll be loving you still The nights are so lonely the days are so sad and I just keep thinking about the love that we had And I'm missing you And nobody knows it but me oooo oohhhhh yeah Tomorrow morning, I'm a hit a dusty road Gonna find you, where ever, ever you might go And I'm gonna load my heart and hope you come back to me (Say went the nights are lonely)
The nights are so lonely the days are so sad and I just keep thinking about the love that we had And I'm missing you And nobody knows it but me

Shi, 2006
Pinkpig.... I'll be missing him... after....??????

Forgive me my love

Dear my love, I wish I can tell honest my situation now, but from deep inside my heart I couldn’t say it. How can I destroy my lovely one, but now all this problem make me depression and desperate because I don’t know how to do.
My love, my life is getting distorted now, I must choose and not make all people getting enduring because of me especially you, because you are the only one I love and you are my life.
The team is getting tricky with me, part of they heart is kind and another part they same like the other human, they have priority in life; they were asked me not to run away, because even I’m run away they all can’t pay all the money I already used for the treatment and they don’t want destroy they family life because safe my life.
I was asked them, how if I’m dying, so they said is under human control, so all people can’t do anything just accept what happen it.
My love, this the only way to solve the problem, I will stop all and no one can buy my life, and I know you will accept my decision. But… before I do all my decision, I wish I still have chance to meet you for the last time.
My love, I love you and I will keep this love until I die, please continue your life, you will find someone who can love you more than me and don’t give you any kind problem.
Forgive me for this decision, I already enough tired with all this, I don’t want have any problem in my life.

Shi, 2006

Pinkpig “I love you my baby one forever”

how

How can I get $700 in one months? To pay my flight ticket without get any problem? Small money but become big money for me.

Shi, 2006

Pinkpig... "how.. and how.. and how..."

The truth of my heart

The truth of my heart
1. I love my bf include his family more than my family (I don't know why)
2. I hate some people here especially they young person (really hate from deep inside my heart)
3. I love cook & eat
4. I have problem for my December flight ticket
5. I plan to run away in the end of my treatment
6. I'm tired with all the problem
7. I want be my self
8. ........................

Shi, 2006
Pinkpig.... I love speaking truth.. but people will not accept it....

Jap People

Another side of Japan People

1. Hard worker, but in real they are sleep in the middle of they work.
2. Open mind, not et.al. They are narrowing minded.
3. Helpful, no they are selfish.
4. Kind, no they like lips service.

It’s true, I stay here 1.5 year, they always work in the dead line time like the busy one in the world but in real they delay all the work since long time ago. They like sleep in front of the computer or table, seems like work but sleep and it take 2-3 hours/day. They are sleep everywhere, in the train, bus or park as the reason they have drunk in the night.To decide something small, they need long discussion and sometimes are not equal between the problem and time...

Open mind… hm… really wrong opinion, they always said they result and product is the best one, difficult to open hand for something different from another country, one sample, we can use gsm phone everywhere without any problem, but in Japan they have different system. They try to adopt fashion and western life style but they don’t want said the truth so they put all mix with the Japanese style… he..he... in the end strange… you can see how they are dress and they house…Even food…. Ice cream with green tea taste is the best ice cream from Hagen Dazs in Japan ;)

They always worry too if foreign in they society have knowledge more than the other Japanese, so if I got good knowledge, they start study to know more... from the highest level until low level. And they hiding something if this important for foreign, just to let us look foolish or not punctual.

Forbidden to talk about sex and make a joke related with sex, can’t kiss in the street or do some romance in public place, but from the survey Japan is the number one for sex, girl loose they virgin on 15 years old, many marriage because pregnant and the love hotel (“hotel with hours services”) get high benefit compare the common hotel in Japan. For sample. my neighbor he always “Make Love” every night with the loud voice… he bring his different girlfriend every night to his apartment, so if I feel they disturb me.. I just play koto…. To make them know... I’m here…One funny things... when I saw funny cartoon kamasutra to one of my friend here.., she was said ‘dame’ it’s meaning forbidden and not good, but.... big but… she told me that her bf will be here for several days… and she didn’t tell the parents… ;) and by accident she told me that. Her bf like naked inside the house… so... how can she said Cartoon Kamasutra is “dame” if she like...it...

Selfish… for sure... this the top one in the world, don’t think they will share your food even you are starving near them, don’t think they will help you when you got accident, don’t think they will give you same opportunity for any kind general life.
One-half years I put my behavior like me... originally. Share... our food, help when there is someone sick and even help for they work, cook some food when they don’t have time to buy food, but is the big mistake I made here, when I’m sick they send me food after I asked them to buy some food because I can’t go. They buy “Ice Cream” without buy for me after I gave them information that there is cheap good Ice Cream, and they eat in front of me. I must pay expensive Lunch only for small tomato and many kind stupid things happen. It makes me learn never well to them, just good if you expect something.
Don’t give them your private story, because after all the Japanese know it and talk about it without you know it.
Last but not end, not all Japanese like that, but in this place I learn something good, I don’t want change my behavior because of them, but I will not share my kind to them anymore…
Last time I got good chocolate from my bf mother and cheese, when I opened the box, I know they want to taste it, because they were asked me several times, but… sorry.. I will not share anything… they teach me to do that... I eat and... Let them learn not good to be selfish.
Now they were asked me too cook some food and for sure I said no... Because I know they asked only to get good benefit for them self... if I cook they can eat a lot...good taste and cheap… and after I should pay same with them even I already spend my time and energy for cook…
Now... each time I open my lunch box, they were ask me when I cook same things here, and I said someday when after they cook something for me...: p
Today, I keep silence with all people here, because I know something not good they were did to me last weekend. I will try to finish all without they know it and I will take some holiday…..
Kind… ya for old people they are kind... but not for the young people... they are full with Trick and trap… they grow up not in good environment, in my case… and some another country they childhood will make us have a lot of friend without any border, but not here since the beginning all is enemy for study.. For work…etc…
One important things they really like lips service…

I’m happy be my self now…. Thanks God….

Shi, 2006

Pinkpig..."The truth of Jap. People"

What kind future I have?

I don't know my future now... really blur... and... worse...

Sad but funny

I got this from my friend.. is more sad than funny
click here

Why...

I don't know why....
Why..all like this... I don't know
Why... I became like this... I don't know
Why.. and a thousand.. why...and..same answer... I don't know.......
"only one answer..."Destiny""

Shi, 2006
Pinkpig destiny

I am so sick and upset, I am about to throw up.

I've been there before - and God, I know it's coming. My body is shutting down and I am expending all my energies and sanity just to wake me up in the morning.
I have no more drive, and at this point.